This is the site for columnist Rick Quick, and sories of his redneck life. A real experience in southern humor!

Name:
Location: Louisiana

I have 3 kids, a mortgage, a car note, a dog, a kitchen table with chairs held together by bailing wire, my house is furnished in an motiff called "Early Garage Sale", and I own 11 vehicles, strung between my yard, my parents yard, my grandmother's yard, my shop, my best friends shop, another friends shop, and one is still at my ex-wife's ex-boyfriends.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Will I Ever Get Out Of The Mall?

Well here we are again in the middle of the holiday season. People are out looking for the prefect gift, and shopping malls are madhouses. Holiday parades, shows, church programs, and dinners are everywhere. The question is, how does one fit all of this into one lifetime? For the average family, this is quite a chore.

If both parents work, then there are usually 2 work Christmas dinners that must be attended, “sans children”(which, of course, is French for “good luck finding a babysitter”). If you miss the dinner, then you are on the corporate list of people who miss dinners, which will later cause you to lose the office with a window. Hence, one must attend unless one enjoys working in a cave.

Then there are the local school festivities. Each PTA will have a meeting, and they usually have a Christmas program, which of course will include your child. Your child will probably just sing along with the other 300 kids, but you must attend anyway. Why? Because if you don’t go, then you can’t record said child singing. And Grandmas are just dying to see the tape of there special little one singing.

Next we have the local events. Children love parades, and heaven know there are a lot of those. A child must also sit on Santa’s lap, so you have to get a calendar and map to keep up with where he is. Sometimes, though you get lucky and Santa will appear in a parade, and have lap sitting afterwards. Then you get to knock out two things in one trip!

Just be forewarned that the law of nature dictates that it must be 12 degrees or less outside for said event to occur. And your child will forget his jacket.

There are also church programs, friend’s parties, neighborhood parties, local organizations that have parties, groceries to buy, and candies to cooks. The list just goes on and on. And sadly, you still have to do the normal stuff too, like helping the kids with homework, shopping, and paying the bills. It is enough to make your head explode.

Sometimes, I ask myself “Why do I keep doing this”? And then I am reminded about just how wonderful Christmas was a kid. I know my parents went though much of the same stuff, but to me it was all just one wonderful month.

I know it’s not easy to keep up with all of the parties, events, and shopping that we have to do, but I salute each and every one of you for making the effort. When your kids get grown, they will be filled with happy memories. And after all is said and done, isn’t that what we want for them?
Here’s wishing you and yours a very merry Christmas. Oh, by the way, did I forget to mention that you also need to schedule that Christmas get together with the relatives?

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