The Show Less Watched

Over the past week, one of our local people has placed himself square in the middle of the Saints situation. Terry Bradshaw has offered to front a group that will purchase the Saints and keep them in Louisiana. The only problem seems to be that the owner still doesn’t want to sell.

Now, I might just be an old redneck from the sticks, but it does seem to me to be a little hard to buy something from someone who won’t sell it.

Hence, it appears that Terry’s actions went for naught, as Tom Benson refuted his offers and now plans to possibly move the team to the Philippines, where he will replace all of the players with under-age workers, and pay them sub-standard wages. Sure, I have no proof of that, but it makes for a good story.

So, to review, we now have an owner who does not want to be in New Orleans, an NFL commissioner who wants them there to save face, no stadium in New Orleans for the team to play in, someone who wants to buy the team, an owner who doesn’t want to sell, and of course, a team that in many respects is the second best team to play home games at Tiger stadium.

Excuse me, but doesn’t this seem like a perfect Soap Opera?

If we could only teach Tom Benson to have multiple personalities (many say he does), have the NFL commissioner abducted by aliens and replaced with his evil twin who was given up for adoption at birth, and possible get the players to get drunk, get arrested, beat their spouses, trash-talk the coaches and the city, and fool around with each other wives, we would have a show no one could resist.

Every week, “As The Saints Turn” could re-hash plots from old sitcoms, and Tom could get one of those famous sayings he could use every week, like “Well paint me green and call me Gumby.” If he danced around with the umbrella only on sunny days and left it behind in the rain, that would make him look even more looney

The commissioner could play both himself and his evil twin like lots of S.O. stars do. All he would have to do is take off his present toupee and change it for one of a different color. He already talks out of both sides of his mouth, so he could handle 2 parts very easily.

The players are already doing their part. Nuff said there.

As for me, I’ll play the fan who grows more apathetic about the whole thing every day. I’ll start wearing my Saints shirts when I am working on the tractors, I’ll let the kids through around those autographed footballs, and I’ll mow the lawn when the team is on TV. In truth, that ain’t a whole lot different than things are today.
Be sure to tune in Next week on “As The Saints Turn” when we will hear Tom say “Terry Bradshaw? How did he get more money than me?.”