Shopping My Life Away
Here we are again. Summer vacation is almost over, and the time is slowly coming that our children will have to start riding buses and reading Mark Twain again. And for every parent, now comes the worst time of the year: back-to-school shopping time.
Every year it seems, my kids go back to school. And every year I seem to be stuck writing about how bad I hate back-to-school shopping. Unlike Christmas shopping, there is no satisfaction in shopping for school; no one wakes up, looks at a Big Chief tablet, and says “Thanks dad! It’s just what I have always wanted!”
Starting this weekend, I will be out amongst the tired, over-shopped people. Why? If I don’t start early and instead wait until they kids actually go to school, I will only be able to find leftover #3 pencils. A thing like that could force a child to flunk all year long.
This year, my wife did something amazing: in the spring, she put the kid’s supply list on the refrigerator, and it actually stayed there all summer. This means that, unlike the last few years, I won’t be running around 2 days after school starts looking for a 3 ring binder with pockets but not flowers. Boys do not like 3 ring binders with pockets and flowers.
Unfortunately for me, she also decide that I must now evaluate the kid’s clothes, so that they don’t have to go to school nekkid. This has entailed hours of sorting, re-sorting, re-re-sorting, and, in the end, re-re-re-sorting.
If it is stained, it goes. If it has a tear, it goes. If the neck is stretched, it goes. If looks old, it goes. As a matter of fact, if she doesn’t like it period, it goes. I am trying to stay on her good side, so that she doesn’t decide I am too old, torn-up, stretched, and stained. I’d hate to think where she might tell me to go.
Of course my daughter is wearing uniforms again this year. While you would think this makes shopping easier, it doesn’t. There are shorts, skirts, jumpers, pants, dresses, pull-overs, blouses, and 76 other items that must either be in plaid or khaki. Light blue is acceptable for some things, but forest green and purple are definitely out.
Consider this: how many places do you know of that you could go to right now, and pick up a pair of jeans? A lot, I am sure. Now, how many places do you know that you could go to and find a plaid jumper in a size 12 and a blue blouse with a Peter Pan collar? And don’t ask what a jumper or Peter Pan collar is, because I don’t know either.
Anywho, to you parents out there who have already started your shopping, I salute you; You will get the best stuff. To those who haven’t started, you better get going before I beat you to the good stuff. And to those of you who are waiting until the first day of school, I say good luck. You will be stuck with off-brand colors and generic paste.
And as any child will tell you, generic paste just does not taste the same.
Every year it seems, my kids go back to school. And every year I seem to be stuck writing about how bad I hate back-to-school shopping. Unlike Christmas shopping, there is no satisfaction in shopping for school; no one wakes up, looks at a Big Chief tablet, and says “Thanks dad! It’s just what I have always wanted!”
Starting this weekend, I will be out amongst the tired, over-shopped people. Why? If I don’t start early and instead wait until they kids actually go to school, I will only be able to find leftover #3 pencils. A thing like that could force a child to flunk all year long.
This year, my wife did something amazing: in the spring, she put the kid’s supply list on the refrigerator, and it actually stayed there all summer. This means that, unlike the last few years, I won’t be running around 2 days after school starts looking for a 3 ring binder with pockets but not flowers. Boys do not like 3 ring binders with pockets and flowers.
Unfortunately for me, she also decide that I must now evaluate the kid’s clothes, so that they don’t have to go to school nekkid. This has entailed hours of sorting, re-sorting, re-re-sorting, and, in the end, re-re-re-sorting.
If it is stained, it goes. If it has a tear, it goes. If the neck is stretched, it goes. If looks old, it goes. As a matter of fact, if she doesn’t like it period, it goes. I am trying to stay on her good side, so that she doesn’t decide I am too old, torn-up, stretched, and stained. I’d hate to think where she might tell me to go.
Of course my daughter is wearing uniforms again this year. While you would think this makes shopping easier, it doesn’t. There are shorts, skirts, jumpers, pants, dresses, pull-overs, blouses, and 76 other items that must either be in plaid or khaki. Light blue is acceptable for some things, but forest green and purple are definitely out.
Consider this: how many places do you know of that you could go to right now, and pick up a pair of jeans? A lot, I am sure. Now, how many places do you know that you could go to and find a plaid jumper in a size 12 and a blue blouse with a Peter Pan collar? And don’t ask what a jumper or Peter Pan collar is, because I don’t know either.
Anywho, to you parents out there who have already started your shopping, I salute you; You will get the best stuff. To those who haven’t started, you better get going before I beat you to the good stuff. And to those of you who are waiting until the first day of school, I say good luck. You will be stuck with off-brand colors and generic paste.
And as any child will tell you, generic paste just does not taste the same.
posted by Rick Quick | 9:34 AM
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