This is the site for columnist Rick Quick, and sories of his redneck life. A real experience in southern humor!

Name:
Location: Louisiana

I have 3 kids, a mortgage, a car note, a dog, a kitchen table with chairs held together by bailing wire, my house is furnished in an motiff called "Early Garage Sale", and I own 11 vehicles, strung between my yard, my parents yard, my grandmother's yard, my shop, my best friends shop, another friends shop, and one is still at my ex-wife's ex-boyfriends.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Changes Begin In your Own Backyard

The world has changed a lot since I was a kid. We used to go outside at 7 in the morning and not come back inside until dark. We played, made things out of pine straw, and talked to each other until we were sick of hearing each other. Then the next day we would do it again. Why? Because that’s all we knew.

Today, kids have many options. They have cable and satellite TV, the Internet, DVDs, VCR’s, PlayStations, X-Box’s, and heaven knows what else. They can sit in the comfort of the couch and do and play all day, without ever even knowing what is out there!

But not my kids. Nooooooooooo.

I remember a time back when I decided that my kids were not going to be vegetables addicted to some screen. I was determined to make little farmers out of them, and show them what their little minds could imagine, if they would only press “pause” and leave that little girl who breathes fire and eats toadstools. So, I drug them kicking and screaming into the yard.

“Daddy, what is this green stuff I am walking on” my son asked.
“Duh! It’s carpet” replied my daughter.
“Well then you are dropping cheeto crumbs on it. And now Mom is going to make us vacuum this whole thing. Thanks a lot” he shot back at her.

Dazed, but not totally out of it, I pressed on. I showed them what a tree was. They said no, that was not a tree, because it did not look like the one in the Harry Potter movie. I showed them a rose, and again, they said roses have long stems, so I must be mistaken. Then I showed them our dogs, at which point they laughed and said “Daddy, you got ripped off, cause Benji is a dog, and these two certainly look nothing like Benji.”

Next, I showed them a field and show them how to plant. They were amazed that I was digging holes in the floor. I showed them my shop, and they were wondering when I was going to paint the walls and add curtains. I even tried to get them to ride on the tractor, but they said it was unsafe because it didn’t have doors or seatbelts.

It was then that I realized that my work was cut out for me. Over the next few weeks, we spent hours outside, with them learning that dogs do not use a litter box (so watch your step), cows do not like to be pulled on, and that a “rabbit foot” actually comes from real rabbits.” Wow!” my son said. “That must be one lucky rabbit. He has 4 of them.” I left it at that.

Anywho, after a while of forcing the children to live in the great fenced outside, they finally started to use their imaginations. They built things out of straw and stick, dug for buried treasure, and even played hide-and-go-seek right there in their own back yard. And I must admit that I was very proud when my 2 year old beamed “this is more fun than dodging a fireball while jumping over the monkey”. I think that means he’s finally enjoying the outdoors the way we used to as kids.
Then again, that might be why the I found the dog eating a burnt banana the other day.

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